Happy father's Day!

Well, it has been a bit since I posted last. To tell you the truth I didn't write because I was unsure of whether or not I wanted to make myself completely vulnerable. After thinking and praying I decided I would like to keep this blog real to what is happening in my life.

After two rounds of Chlomid and three months all together of trying to get pregnant it happened:) Yes, Scott and I are expecting again! I got to tell Scott we were expecting on Father's day, which was really two days before a missed period. Scott was gone to run an errand and during that time I took a test. While I was waiting for the result I just sat and prayed. I prayed that I would understand that it would happen in God's timing. To my amazement there were two lines. My first reaction was to say, "Thank you Jesus. Oh, thank you!" My second reaction was to go into the baby room, (that had been started for the last two,) and look at the picture box I made and remember and grieve the loss of my first two. This wasn't a conscience thing, it just happened, that made me feel good. That I wouldn't ever forget my children in heaven. The pictures are of the shadow box I made and then of my two previous pregnancies.

Of course Scott's reaction was not like it was for the first pregnancy. He was surprised but didn't really say much at first. Then He started asking questions about the due date.

The reality of the situation is that I am sooo very excited, but at the same time I am so very scared. The week after I found out I forced myself to look through the baby name book and I got some pregnancy magazines. From then on it has been a rollercoaster of emotions. Every time I go to the bathroom I feel a bit nervous. Everytime I feel any kind of cramp or preasure I worry. Although I don't know if I will carry this baby full term, I do know that right now I have a life inside of me that I need to me excited about. If this is all the time I have with this child, then I want to make the most of it.

Tomorrow we go in for our first ultrasound. I will be 6 1/2 weeks. I'm excited and nervous. The good thing is that there hasn't been any bleeding and I am started to feel nauseaus at times. Please pray for us and this child. I ache to feel this child move inside of me, I ache to hold this child in my arms and call this child by name.

I need my time with the Lord everyday I realize when I don't get that those are my more difficult days. When I do get that time I am filled. I have been reading a lot about faith again. Right now I am reading Hebrews. I have also been thinking a lot about confidence in our faith and in Christ. I am realizing how important that is.

Philliians :6-7
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Please, please pray for us!