My heat goes out to you

Well my apt. last week went good! The doctor brought her little portable ultrasound machine into the room. Although it isn't as high tech as when you go in for an ultrasound, the doctor was able to see the baby move, the baby was measuring at 8 weeks 2 days which was right on. So, that puts my due date at March 3, 2010. We set up a plan to meet every two weeks until beyond the end of the first trimester.....that will put us into September. So, I have an apt. with the doctor next week and then in two weeks I will have a 12 week ultrasound. Believe it or not I am showing a little bit already. I'm not recognizably pregnant, but I do have a little bump. I love it! I wish I could tell you that I am not worrying as much. Every night I smile thinking I made it through another day, yet at the same time I become a little more nervous that I am getting closer to the point of where I was at with Faith. Still I am trying to cherish everyday with this child. I had been searching for a rainbow last week, finally on Sunday I saw one so bight and clear. Seeing a rainbow is a sign to me of hope and a promise that God will never leave us. When I was a child every time there was a chance of a rainbow we would all run out to the sun porch and look. When we saw one we were all so joyful. Most of the time we would run outside and just watch the rainbow get brighter. Then someone would usually say, "you know that's God's promise that He will never flood the earth again." I am dreaming and praying for this child that I long to hold in my arms in 7 months. I can't wait to search for a rainbow with this little one.

I have to tell you the main reason I felt inspired to post again was because I found out about a friend's miscarriage tonight. When they told us they were pregnant we knew we were only two weeks behind them, but we were too early to say anything yet. The second I heard their sad news tears started streaming down my face. I know the pain they are feeling. I grieve with them. I didn't think about not calling to make sure she was doing o.k. With a text back she replied confused and not knowing how to feel. I remember that so clear. I hope she talks to someone who has been through it or just someone that is extremely empathetic to her situation. I know how much it helped me just to tell my story again. I would love her to call me to talk about it, but if she doesn't, I will pray. If you are in the same spot, let me encourage you to talk to someone. It is okay to be confused and angry and sad and unsure of everything. Let me encourage you to give your struggle to God even if you can't feel Him right now. Let others stand in the gap for you. Talk about your situation and know that there is nothing you did wrong. There is no reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed, there isn't anything you could have done differently. Put your hope in the eternal, know that you will be able to hold your child again if you have a personal relationship with Jesus. In the mean time your child will never feel any hurt or pain, heart ache or let downs. They are waiting for us to join them in heaven.