"Growing Pains"

I guess you could say a lot has happened since the last time that I posted. I think it was about a week and a half ago that I got in to see the Dr. Some things were happening that I wasn't sure if they were normal and I guess you could say I was feeling a lot of anxiety. While I was at the Dr. she reassured me that everything seems to be right on. Some things were unexplainable but because of where I am at she said it is probably just normal for me. I asked the Dr. if she thought I was being paranoid. She said maybe a little but understandabley so. At that time I had a break down. I started to cry. I was just feeling so anxious, and nervous. I didn't explain my feelings to her. She just handed me a kleenex, said she understands, and that they will do everything they can to alleviate the anxiety I have. On her way out she gave me a hug and told me to hang in there. To tell you the truth, I don't know exactly why I was crying. I think because I'm growing so close to this child. I guess I can't even really explain it now, but if you are or have been in this situation I'm sure you know exactly how I was feeling and do feel ocasionally. Of course as a christian and from passed experience I knew where to go with it all. Christ has since took away a lot of that anxiety. I started feeling the baby move, what a miraculous feeling. I purposely lay awake a little longer each night just to make sure I didn't miss any last kicks. There is only a few more days until I get another ultrasound. Yes, I'm excited to know the baby's gender, but I am more excited to see how much the baby has grown and to get that special time with daddy and baby. I'm a little nervous too, I have heard so many stories of people going in for their 20 wk. ultasound and finding complications. So, I will continue to surrender that to God.
After some good conversation with my mom yesterday and then sitting in church listening to a worship song the thought of "growing pains" entered my mind. I was reflecting on my passed year and realizing what "growing pains" I went through. If I wouldn't have had the pain I never would have grown. My relationship with God is so much stronger than it was a year ago, now I am to the point of realizing the growth was worth the pain. I have tools now that I never had before that have been equippng me in my everyday walk. Then, I thought of how fitting it is when someone is pregnant. As you carry your child, your body has to grow. In order to do so there will be pains. It may be a cramp here or a backache there. Maybe yours is more severe, maybe it entails bleeding because your body is at work. In any case the growth is worth the pain. Now, with each pain or discomfort I feel I am reminded of my "growning pains" with Christ. I am now realizing my attitude has changed from "I guess I will go into the valley if you force me to because I have no other choice." To (like the song says,) "I will walk through the valley if you want me to."